Becoming a dating consultant
“Going through different profiles and sending out e-mails is purely mechanical work.
For somebody as busy as I am, sitting down and doing that is not productive.” Cyber-Cyranos Outsourcing one’s love life is nothing new, of course.
Rick, who’s used a dating concierge service for the last three months, says he doesn’t see how it’s any different from other matchmaking services or even asking a buddy to help connect with a woman while out on the town.
“It’s like if you were in a bar and had a wingman help you meet someone,” he says. You’re always drawing lines for what people find acceptable.
“Maybe these guys are shy and need some help to get a girl to notice them,” says Marzi Alavi, a 27-year-old from Manhattan who’s in public relations.
“He might be really cool but can’t write an e-mail for the life of him. I think half the people would be offended and the other half wouldn’t.
Dating consultants will create your online dating profile, surf the sites for potential dates, handle all communication with people you want to pursue (e-mails are approved beforehand) and even plan the date, down to the clothes you wear and the place you go for dinner.
“They handle the logistical aspect of it so you can focus on meeting people,” says Rick, a 37-year-old marketing executive from Miami who asked that his last name not be used (he’s currently using one of these services).
“She was never allowed to write anyone but she sifted and sorted for me because I had so many. I couldn’t keep up.” Trust issues But is turning to a third party to find a date, contact a date and even carry on a correspondence with a date somehow cheating?Edmond Rostand wrote about courtship via a third party in his 1897 play, Cyrano de Bergerac (later made into the Steve Martin film, “Roxanne”).The idea of hiring a virtual assistant to handle the hunt for a romantic partner was more recently floated by Tim Ferriss, author of “The Four-Hour Work Week” and New York Post writer Carrie Seim, both of whom hired virtual assistants to help track down dates.They help him write the girl and then he can be funny and flirty in real life.” What would she think if somebody hired a third party to woo her? If I was on the receiving end, I’d probably be like ‘Oh, that’s not really you. You’re a dud.’ And that would suck.” Of course, dating concierges aren’t the only sock puppets out there furthering someone’s romantic suit.“I had a guy who had a friend writing his e-mails,” says Jones, the dating blogger who says she’s gone on nearly 300 online dates in the past nine years.