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Extremes such as excessive adoration, disgust, or indifference in parental relationships can be trouble.Basically you want someone who gets along with their parents.The fairy tales give glimpses of a darker reality, the shadow side of tricky, flimsy people who at a later date become substantial as they learn from the complicatedness of life’s struggles.Too many children have swallowed Disney whole and expect life to be sanitized.Single women often stay way too long in half-baked relationships because of the fear of returning to the hard work of dating.It is hardest to be single when you are physically ill. Boundaries can change if they are respected to begin with.A terrible feeling of loneliness sets in and it is easy to overdose on your experience of very real vulnerability. A wonderful laugh-out-loud book that teaches this lesson is the mystery Lucky You by Carl Hiaasen. If a real dialogue emerges instead of a defensive, deflecting monologue, WOW. Boundaries should not be apologized for, they are a good reality check and a way to take the temperature of the relationship. Someone Who Takes Responsibility From the ages of 13-27, a lot of latitude can be granted. This may sound very old-fashioned but fast sexuality easily clouds perceptions.
A good book to teach you how your childhood experience leaks into the present in your partnership is: Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix. Never Feel Sorry for Anybody Nothing good comes from this, erase it from your emotional vocabulary.The time it takes to build new friendships is undervalued.James Hillman, a wonderful man of ideas, calls friendship a calling.“If he had a girlfriend she would sit across the breakfast table from him with fork in hand, and every day she would be impaled on the four steel tines of his intelligence and his perception and his ambition and his self-regard.” As my mentor Sonia Nevis, Ph. says, “It is easier to live life with joined energy.” Many single people long to be joined with someone in a relationship that will last.Being single & dating is definitely a gruesome process that requires courage.